Along the way and over time, we all find ourselves a little perplexed at new trends and the latest fads. People start doing their hair up like thirty years ago. Déjà vu? Not quite, but I still find myself back in the eighties and sincerely hope the music is the only thing that comes back in style. One thing that never changes, though, is the nervousness in new and applying employees. It seems like an ingrained nervousness from the dawn of time.
“I hope I do well.”
“I hope I get hired.”
“I hope my nervous sweat isn’t too noticeable.”
“Oh, no! I completely forgot to shake their hand!”
That’s when my current secretary secured the job, her insecurities seemed infinite. The main priority I felt necessary to assist her with was (and still is) the telephone, much to her dismay. No amount of sweaters and cleverly patterned socks could console her.
Working at the studio, I find that many remain nervous, even when the coast is clear. Notably during and after belt tests. But isn’t that part of learning a martial art? Yes, but eliminating nervousness entirely proves impossible, much to my own disappointment as a man who still undergoes belt tests and examinations from superiors.
Controlling those emotions of fear and those seeds of doubt becomes easier through the physical push. I find that the exertion and the self control of my body better helps control those fears, doubts, and negative feelings in my mind. It provides a center and a stable point in life to which I can escape.
I may be on the mat with my students, wondering if I’m a good enough instructor or not. My students may be on the mat, possibly with something causing them to be there physically more than mentally. And my assistant may be in the office, staring wistfully at the phone.
We all have doubts, but with the help of disciplines stressed in hap ki do, I find, in my students, my assistant, and even myself, that the seemingly insurmountable becomes possible.